The
FreeFest Alternative – Cheaper than Free
The
FreeFest Alternative Finds Fear of Virginia Booking a Room at the Rock and Roll
Hotel
Washington – American patriots and DC band
Fear of Virginia today issued the following statement:
Over the
past decades, British billionaire Richard Branson has brought many great
innovations to the United States. Music stores, airlines, hell, even
spaceships. However his most recent endeavor, the Virgin FreeFest has left many
Americans in the DC Metro area scratching their heads. How can it be legal to
give away free virgins?
High
demand has left many DC residents virgin-less. NO LONGER. As upstanding
Americans fighting British music imperialism, we have decided to do our part as
DC residents to alleviate the worries of those who could not win free tickets
to the concert out at Merriweather and who would rather invest their hard
earned dollars in the local economy.
“We are
pleased to announce that Fear of Virginia will headline the FreeFest
alternative at H Street’s famed Rock and Roll Hotel. We cannot think of a
better way to spend a Saturday evening with our friends and fellow local bands
Neon Rush, Stereosleep, and UGLY.” said lead singer, and heartthrob, Mike
Sciortino.
There is
no doubt that spending a night with such a bill will provide entertainment
value much greater than that found out in Maryland. Tickets are on sale for a
measly $10 (less than, well, pretty much everything that will be on sale at
FreeFest). Drinks, unlike at FreeFest, will be flowing abundantly at a much
cheaper rate than the $12 festival beer.
Basically
what it comes down to is that we as a band refuse to be pushed around by
someone who originates from a country that burned our nation’s capitol to the
ground during the war of 1812. We certainly have fears (mainly from a certain
southern commonwealth) however, we will never be afraid to rock along with
those who believe nothing rocks harder than the red, white, and blue.
ADDITIONAL CONTACTS:
Neon Rush – Andy Andrade - andy@andrade.tv
Stereosleep – A.J. Jeanty - Jajeanty@gmail.com UGLY – Kevin Snevely - kevin.snevely@gmail.com
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